Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do some films seem to date/age so badly?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

How do scientists behave?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

First American Spacewalk 60 Years Ago Today - The Weather Channel

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do flat Earthers exist? Why can’t I see the Sun at night? Is it because Earth is not flat?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

Is T-Mobile secretly recording your phone's screen? How to check and turn it off - ZDNET

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Which feels physically better for guys: vaginal sex or anal sex?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Robots run out of energy long before they run out of work to do − feeding them could change that - The Conversation

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What are your controversial and hot takes on Naruto?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

32-Year-Old Mom's Freckle Turns Into 'Terrifying' Diagnosis. Now She Fears Leaving Her Toddler Behind - AOL.com

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can read

Cardinals Place Jordan Walker On 10-Day IL, Select Ryan Vilade - MLB Trade Rumors

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are some signs he is deeply in love with you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fakery

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I took the same Oath and took it seriously